"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
This is one of Mahatma Gandhi's most infamous quotes and it was even referenced in Prison Break, the most epic TV show of all time *sigh* come back to my TV, Michael Scofield... Oh. Sorry. Was I fantasizing about Wentworth Miller again? Yea that happens...
Anyway...
Did you know Gandhi had kids?! I mean, I'm not surprised but I guess I never pictured Gandhi as an actual, like, guy with a wife and kids but I just noticed that while googling his name to make sure I spelled it right (that's right, you guys got spellcheck this week, aren't you lucky!). You know you're a sexologist when your first thought is, "I wonder what it would be like to have sex with Gandhi."... or really any prophet for that matter (which I just spelled as "profit"-- never noticed those were the same word, huh). And what about him as a dad?! Gandhi: "Be the change you want to see in the world." Kid: "Well then, dad, then YOU should probably clean my room since I don't really have any clean visions of it." *pause* Gandhi: "No one likes a smartass." ... ok, maybe it was only my parents who said that last one.
Ok, folks, seriously, let's stop having the attention span of a ferret.
So, the story inspiring this post took place on Saturday. I was hankering for Panera, which, when I think about it, has pretty much become an addiction to that orange goo they put on Sierra Turkey sandwiches which is the only thing I've ever eaten there outside of the bakery case. Recently, the Panera in Falls Church has become like every other chain in Falls Church-- it gets so much business from our 2.1 square mile population that it does not need to have stellar service... in fact, it doesn't even have to breach "adequate" half the time.
But I digress, clearly as I continue to go to Panera at least once every other week, the crack goo they put on their sandwiches is working sufficiently. Underestimating the "healthy" and wealthy motivations of Falls Church soccer moms and their 1 point 5 billion children all congregating at Panera and not Burger King like normal fat-ass Americans, I walked into a ridiculously long line at 1:30pm. Now, standing in a long line was bad enough but then you LITERALLY had an entire soccer team walk in with their respective parents, find the one parent waiting in line with her kids and gave her their order. Which means that 1 mom with her fidgety boys represents about 20 sandwiches. That's just the epitome of dicketry. If you looked up dicketry on an online dictionary or "dickholes" or "dickweasels" or anything related to YOU'RE A DICK, that shit would be right there as an example.
Now, my anxiety was probably heightened by a small child standing behind me coughing and just generally standing too close to me (I have an issues with kids, it's why I'm never reproducing) so I started doing all of my tricks where I create distance with the person behind me and thank God I did because the kid coughed and began puking all over the floor.
Side note: This is not the first time this has happened, it's the fifth. Shit you not, I told my mom this story and she proceeded to ask why is it that kids only throw up in restaurants when I'm around. I don't know why they do, I just really wish they would stop because puke makes me want to puke so if germy little children could stop, that'd be fabulous.
Naturally, the mom rushes the kid out as soon as she can but somehow everyone in the restaurant BUT me has missed this event which is now evidence in a large pool of bile on the floor and are standing in front of the mother and then WALKING IN THE PUKE. Honestly, how much do you have to be not tuned into your surroundings to miss a kid Exorcist-ing all over the floor? So before I start adding to the bile pile, I lean over and interrupt someone ordering to tell the cashier, "Um, a kid got sick over here and someone needs to mop up right away." The guy now behind me (who yes, moved closer to the mess to ensure his position all up in my personal space) mumbles loudly, "Oh great, now they only have THREE cashiers." My anxiety has literally retracted my head into my spine as if I was turtle but upon hearing this, pops out to do a 180 degree turn and yell, "Oh, I'm SORRY but there is THROW UP in the middle of where people are EATING! I JUST thought that maybe I'd take the COURTESY to care for myself and EVERYONE AROUND ME to get rid of this HEALTH HAZARD." Cue no one being alarmed by my yelling and instead checking their shoes idly like, "Oh, did I step in puke?" The man remained offended that I dared to distract a cashier from expediting the sandwich receiving process... Anyway, long story short *too late*, I got home with no chips and the crack goo was replaced by mayonnaise on my sandwich which means I definitely drove back and I've sworn off that Panera forever... or until I forget about this incident in a year or so, whatever.
But it's shit like that that I think of when I hear people say how people are so much nicer in the South. Um... not in Virginia. Even in undergrad in southern Virginia (I get that DC area-ians are their own shade of dicketry, ordering enough sandwiches to feed half of Falls Church), people were not that nice. It was in undergrad too where my geography professor whom had been all over the world told me how the city of brotherly and sisterly love that I was intended to move to was filled with the biggest, most unpleasant assholes ever. I was thoroughly prepared to run for my life at any given moment. People in Philly were DELIGHTFUL. No, I did not go to a sports game and yes, I got involved in a few fights (not by choice, trust me-- my only move is the aforementioned turtle move. Fuck if I'm getting in a fight) but they were with New Jerseyians-- a stereotype that WASN'T broken in my short Philly residency. Sorry, Jersey people! But over the two years, people would start conversations with me all the time even when I was standing there being the DC-ian that I am, thinking, "Dude, I have shit to do." People would SMILE to each other walking down the street and would help you find parking. I don't know where Philly people got this bad rep although they do tend to be cocky (maybe you should work on that? I dunno).
So when I moved back to the South (you know, that place known for it's courtesy and *ahem* good food) and found the most unsociable people at the gym, no one smiling at each other, or refraining from hoking their horn at you when you're trying to park in our notoriously shit parking garages, I was rather bummed. I had a conversation with my dad tonight about the low attendance rate at his Lion's Club and I said how people aren't invested in their community-- their invested in their kids and work, not at all in themselves, becoming better people, or being better citizens of planet Earth. I found myself stressing to my dad how he needed to talk directly to his fellow lions-- what are the things you like about the club that you want to see put more into action?
Be change you want to see in the world-- whether it's a less puke covered world or a more heavily attended Lions Club. Or you can create a position in your student organization to have the program connect more as a group of awesome people changing the future. Maybe you want to see more sex positivity and open dialogue about a heavily stigmatized community. Be the change.
Now if I can just figure out how to be the change that gets Wentworth Miller more into my world.
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